34 Things You Know to be True if You Grew Up in Preston

buy Misoprostol without a prescription in the united states After this blog ended up going viral on Facebook, Blog Preston asked me to write a version for their site too which you can read here.

go Preston is a proud city, but we know not everything is fantastic. So this takes a tongue-in-cheek look at everything born and bred Prestonians know to be true.

buy Misoprostol online with no prescription 1. Any holiday abroad would involve trying to explain to people just exactly where Preston is in England; before eventually giving up and muttering “It’s near Manchester’. You would never mention it’s geographically close location to Blackpool in fear of annoying your PNE supporting dad.

2. You know what a Butter Pie is. Not only that, you regularly enjoyed the delicous onion and potato combo that was originally known as The Catholic Pie. It only seemed like a weird concept when you were trying to explain exactly what it is to people outside of Lancashire. If you move to Liverpool, like I did, you can dine out on the fact that your beloved Butter Pie was mentioned in the Paul McCartney song “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey” which contains the lyric, “I had another look and I had a cup of tea and butter pie”.

ButterPie2

Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it with brown sauce.

3. You won’t have attended any function put on by a Prestonian that didn’t serve a Hot Pot Buffet. 21st birthday parties, wakes, engagement parties, weddings – you couldn’t avoid that dish that Betty from the Rovers loved so much. You’d normally consume your serving, with red cabbage or beetroot, and listen to your nan tell you just how perfect Hotpot is for a function – “It’s cheap, it’s easy to make and everyone loves it. You can even freeze any left-overs”.

4. “Chippy tea, Chippy tea…”

“What on earth are The Lancashire Hotpots?” This is a question you’ll have to answer many times when your friends outside of Preston Google us.

5. If you think it’s hard explaining The Lancashire Hotpots, try telling someone about the fact whenever PNE are relegated, a funeral (or resurrection if we’re promoted) take place in Bamber Bridge – complete with a coffin (which holds a creepy Chuckie doll), a full procession and floats. People may mock it, but it’s the best piss up you will ever go on.

brig funeral

This is the kind of place I come from!

6. Preston may be the home of the parched pea but you’d always refuse your grandad’s offer to try them.

7. While we’re on the subject of food; it’s not a roll, a bread-cake, or even a muffin – it’s a BARM!

8. Up until a few years ago, Preston held the record for Europe’s Largest Bus Station and you like to make people aware of this fact; whilst quickly brushing past the fact the underpass was known as ‘Mugger’s Paradise’.

9. Preston is also home to the UK’s first ever KFC. You’ll have spent your university years telling boring anyone enjoying a hungover bucket of the Colonel’s finest chicken about this ‘achievement’.

10. If you ever went to a working men’s club as kid, when Phoenix Nights came out you could have sworn it could have been an actual documentary set in your local.

11. When people refer to Preston as a town, you automatically correct them that it is in fact a city; gaining the status as the 50th UK city during the Queen’s 50th year of reigning, dontcha know?

12. You know who petrol drinking petty criminal Toxic Terry is and more than likely saw him wandering around town while you were on a night out.

13. You could always rely on The Lancashire Evening Post’s headlines to capture and represent all that was happening in busy and bustling Preston:

LEP headline

And they say there’s nothing to see in Preston?

14. Although, some would have you proud of the animals of Preston…..

Dog Tory

It was actually me.

15. You remember the Chinese lady who would sell the LEP outside Primark in town; yelling ‘Evening Post’ all day long, come rain or shine.

16. That episode of Come Dine With Me is officially The Greatest Episode of All Time and you excitedly squealed when you recognised Bernard’s Carpet Shop.

17. Everyone can keep their Diesel and their Snakebite – you grew up on Sass.

It tastes nicer when you just accept it's called Sass

It tastes nicer when you just accept it’s called Sass

18. Radio One’s Big Weekend coming to Preston in 2007 was the best thing to happen to Preston since Spice Girls performed Avenham Park. Unless of course, you couldn’t get tickets and then you “weren’t even bothered anyway.”

19. It was all fun and games getting to go to Toys R Us on Deepdale Retail Park until it took 34,567 hours to get out of the car park.

20. Your gran would drag you round the Fish Market whilst shopping and the smell still haunts you

Fish Market

The smell never leaves you.

21. You’ll never find anywhere that does spuds as good as this place:

spuds

Image credit to Tony Worrall.

22. As a young teenager, you’d go to Tiggis for a meal in order to feel fancy. Bonus points if one of you would lie and say it was your birthday in order to get a free cake.

23. You could gauge how old someone was based on what they called this nightclub. If they referred to it as Tokes still, they were far too old to still be going in. And then your parents would telling you about how it was Clouds back in their Hey Day. You now feel old when you learn that Lava has evolved into Evoque.

If they still referred to it as Tokyo Joes, they were too old to be going in

If they still referred to it as Tokyo Joes, they were too old to be going in

24. You watched this viral video and realised exactly where it was within seconds; the home of your misspent under aged drinking youth. You may have even frequented the club after you turned 18, not that you’d admit to it.

25. When going through your ‘mosher’ or ‘I’ve stared reading the NME so now I’m indie as hell’ phase during college, you’d spend your Fridays at The Warehouse.

26. Thursday night student nights at Lava were a quid in and quid VKs. You didn’t care that the queue would be round the corner and you’d be barely clothed in the freezing cold, waiting – the cheap, sugary rip of WKD’s made up for it once you got in.

27. Chips, cheese and gravy from the chippy near Squires was a gift from the Gods after a night out. Why would anyone ever choose a kebab over this thing of beauty?

Why would a drunk person ever choose pizza over this thing of beauty?

It’s worth being fat for this.

28. You quickly learned Preston North End and play-off matches weren’t really a good combination. In fact, before we ended the curse this summer, we became record holding losers.

29. Freddie Flintoff’s boozing after The Ashes victory made you proud to be from Preston.

Flintoff

Like any true Prestoner, Freddie can booze.

30. You’re even prouder that one of England’s greatest ever footballers, Sir Tom Finney (aka the Preston Plumber) not only hailed from the same place of you, but loved it so much he was never tempted by big money offers to leave his beloved Preston.

31. Wallace and Gromit was even more enjoyable when Nick Park slipped in a reference to his hometown. PNE may not always conquer the play offs, but they were always winning according to Gromit’s paper’s headlines.

32. Preston rarely got a shout out in the national media so you had to take what you could get.

33. Wherever you have moved to now, the crime rate will never be as bad as it was in Preston during your youth.

poundland

34. If you don’t live there anymore, you may mock your place of birth now and again, but God forbid anyone else from outside your city does – unless they want a rant filled with fun facts about the home of the UK’s first KFC.

See also: Myths About Liverpool

47 thoughts on “34 Things You Know to be True if You Grew Up in Preston

  1. Tim says:

    Also Zoe, don’t forget that Preston is the home of the Parched Pea.
    No hot pot supper in the 70s and 80s (bring your own Sass) was complete without a large pan of Parched Peas boiling away to smithereens. Trying to explain whst they are to non-Prestonians is difficult.

    • stephen nelson says:

      Butch Cassidy’s( George Parker ) dad was born in Preston and his grandad was head of the mormons in the town when Brigham Young told him to go over to USA in November and god would hold the snow off but it snowed and his grandad perished and his dad maximillian parker 12 yo got his mum to Salt LAKE CITY .

  2. Peter says:

    I remember the 10p a pint Monday nights at Tokes. Not to be out-done Squires did it for 7p. I think. Did that actually happen? I was way too pissed to be sure about anything:)

    • Zoe says:

      Thanks Howard Moon. I’m dyslexic, wrote a quick blog months ago, published it by accident and haven’t got round to having someone edit it for me. It’s being shared without me knowing and it’s only now I’m double checking something I haven’t looked at for months.

      P.S Go fuck yourself, internet stranger who feel the need to be snide.

      • Chris says:

        Take no notice Zoe, never forget there’s alwys one! Made me chuckle anyway, being an exiled Prestonian it brought back a few memories! 🙂

      • Chris says:

        Aussie White at Addis, bodidies winter brew …the drink sodden metal dance floor at the warehouse were we inadvertently invented break dancing. Waking up on Saturday morning believing your parents had redecorated your room over night and you’d got a new bed. Canner Keith walking from Tani to Ashton all day, fell over if not carrying his special brew. The 7:50 siren for mill workers. A ring road straight through the middle of town. Wrestlers burger carts, the dirty duck and the new hall pub crawl challenge. Before clouds, the odeon cinema

  3. Michelle says:

    I now live in Australia, still have to explain that Preston is somewhere nr Manchester (& Liverpool)… make my own butter pie (that no Aussie gets the concept of- what, no meat?)….& insist on get hot potatoes from the flag market if Im back in Preston! You can take the girl out of Preston, but………x

    • Zoe says:

      I live in Liverpool now and tbh, I’m always on holiday with Scousers so I just let them think I’m from Liverpool too – saves the long winded explanation! Craving a Butter Pie now!

    • Paul says:

      Prestonian in Melbourne – not just Butter Pie, Michelle! Try explaining to Aussies why I would eat a cold pork pie, what parched peas and treacle toffee is and only fellow poms understand mushy peas, chips n gravy or chips n curry. 🙂

  4. Annette Reynolds says:

    I love spud, beans and cheese from the guy outside the Harris museum. Butter pies. And why do chippies down south not have gravy? What’s all that about?

    Tokyo Jo’s? I remember when that was a cinema and Clouds nightclub. Rock nights on a Thursday, battle of the bands.

    Toxic Terry used to sniff glue in the alleyway behind my workplace and run up and down the alley screaming. It certainly cheered up a Monday morning.

  5. Carly says:

    I’m surprised they’ve not put about st. Georges centre being called the bull ring. My friend who I forgot didn’t grow up in Preston didn’t have a CLUE what I was on about!!

  6. Kelly says:

    The spud man is still by far the best pace to eat. I now live in Liverpool and when visiting family it’s a must to go get my spuds

  7. Rebecca Marsala says:

    Ha ha. This is brilliant! A fun fact to add is that it was my parents who owned that very first KFC and met THE Colonel lots of times.
    This has indeed bought back lots of memories. I loved the potato man! Oh and it was Tokyo Jo’s in my day.
    1, 2 and 3 couldn’t be more true!

    Great blog x

  8. Marc says:

    I live in cornwall now. Went to lostock hall high then to preston collage. I miss pies in general pasties just dont cut it. Toxi terry sat in tardy gate off his tits i forgot about him.

  9. dreamerannie says:

    That made me laugh so much, thanks for writing was laughing so much didn’t notice any mistakes. I live only down the road in Morecambe and people look at me strange if I say could do with some parched peas with vinegar on

  10. Adrian Barnes says:

    What the hell happened to number 21, Zoe? Makes you feel proud to be Preston born and bred, though. Ah, memories! I suppose you have to be proud of where you’ve come from, no matter who you are or where you end up later in life. The Bounce by the Ounce video reinforces the futility of going to nightclubs for kicks (from my own perspective). Major kudos to you Zoe as I’m highly conscientious and I saw very few mistakes in terms of typos or grammatical errors. Well done, young lady! Best one was number 22, by the way. Absolute bastards, not paying (no doubt) 100 hard-earned pence for a roll of tin foil. To think they got it for free! The barefaced cheek! Were they caught, Zoe? If so, what was the punishment? It would be amusing to find out. Thank you for sharing via the InterWeb. Best wishes, Adrian x

  11. Claire Howarth says:

    Brilliant little piece….certainly brought back many happy memories of time gone by growing up in Preston….10p a pint Monday nights in Tokes.. What a classic that was…. Ladies night on a Tuesday in squires(free booze for the ladies) guild tav and jazz bar some great old classic watering holes… And another little Preston memory ‘WINSTONS Pizza’ on lune street… Best pizza in town and having worked there whilst at uni we used to use it to our advantage and bribe the bouncers of tokyos for free entry if we brought down a load of boxes of pizza ????????and who can forget the Indian naseeb down church street where u would often find half of the PNE team( esp Gregan????????????????) aaaah happy memories….????this has made my MONDAY ????????????

  12. Ric says:

    remember going to Tokyo Joes, but also to Clouds before that, alternative night on a Friday, bondage trousers and spiked wrist cuffs and had to wear a tie to get in on a Saturday night …..my brother dj’s at Squires.

  13. Jacqui jackson says:

    Lovely trip down memory lane. Have lived in Isle of Man for over 30 years but still remember butter pies. Remember cooking hotpot and mushy peas for football matches. Loved parched peas. Unfortunately my husband and son are Blackpool supporters! My claim to fame to them is “well I did go out with Tom Finney’s nephew”. Isle of Man is famous for cheese, chips and gravy” . JJ x
    ????

  14. Linda says:

    Love this Zoe! You are obviously soooo much younger than me…the club to go to in my day was The Piper!!! ha ha! But you have included so much that rings true. I live in Altrincham now and over the years I have converted many ‘Cheshireites’ to the joys of parched peas and butter pies!!!

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